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An unwanted call
Posted on July 6th, 2008 No commentsI was awaken this morning by the most unpleasant call. No, it wasn’t my ex’s new boyfriend (not this time): it was one of the bank that lent me money. A quite nice amount, in fact: 10,000$.
OPERATOR: Hello Mr. Frank? I’m calling from Royal Bank of Canada concerning your student’s loan.
ME: Yes, what about it?
OPERATOR: We have been monitoring your… account… and couldn’t help but realize your funds are always declining.
ME: Okay…?
OPERATOR: We have certain doubts and questions concerning your finan…
ME: Look, I don’t need a fucking financial assistant. What do you want?
OPERATOR: Okay, let me get to the point: we would appreciate if you could reimburse part of or all of your student’s loan.
ME: … you signed a loan for all the time I would be studying.
OPERATOR: We…
ME: No. We had a DEAL. A fucking DEAL. What happened to you, Royal Bank? You used to be cool!
OPERATOR: We’re simply afraid you will not repay us in time, that’s it. You seem pretty…
ME: I seem, I may, I might, take care of your fucking Asset-Back Papers first before giving lessons to others. I’ve lost quite a bit of cash when your share dropped because of it.
OPERATOR: You invested into stocks ?!?!?!?!Oh shit. I had compromised myself.
OPERATOR: You shouldn’t borrow to buy stocks. You should sell stocks and refund a part of our loan.
ME: Hey, if you do a good job, your stock will go up and you will auto-repay yourself!
OPERATOR: We just want a part of our original loan of 10,000$ paid back as safety transfer. At this rhythm, we highly doubt you will ever be able to repay us.
ME: That’s my problem.
OPERATOR: 2,500$ will suffice.
ME: I can’t.
OPERATOR: Why?
ME: Because this represents a sum I’ve already invested – and lost – on the stock market.
OPERATOR: …
ME: That’s how you learn, hm? Don’t worry, the stock market will go back up… eventually…
OPERATOR: …
ME: Okay I’ll make you a deal, alright? Get me another 10,000$ loan and I’ll repay the first loan.
OPERATOR: You used a student’s loan to invest into stocks. That’s fraud. We could sue you.
ME: Blow me.He talked for a few more minutes, telling this would affect my credit rating. When I answered him it wouldn’t hurt my “credit rating” more than my almost-bankruptcy did, he seemed surprised.
OPERATOR: You were close to bankruptcy? We never heard about it!
ME: What you don’t know doesn’t hurt you, right?He then asked me how I was doing in school. When I told him I had just won a scholarship, he seemed much more relaxed. He then asked me what I was doing and when I intended to refund the capital. I told him I was aiming for a Ph.D., and perhaps even another after. He then wished me the best of luck in my studies and hung up.
Still an unwanted call. Since when do banks call you asking you to put money back in your account? At 8h30 AM? Okay, I kind of abused their trust, but come on, 10,000$ is nothing for a stupid bank. Plus I haven’t even lost “all” of their 10,000$… there is perhaps 3,000-4,000$ left…
Friday I will release the story of another student’s loan. You do not want to miss this one. It will be up Friday 10pm. The reason this is green and not blue is obviously because I modified a few dialogue and rearranged too much events for this story to be authentic. It was much longer than this (20 minutes) and it was much more boring than this, trust me.As for the bankruptcy I refer to in this article, it mostly concerns how I was endebted close to 100,000$ but managed to pull out in extremis through a gamble. I’ll tell the full story later on.
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