Frank Loses Another 500,000$ Loan Part Two

I waited for so long I started to think I’d get my 500,000$ quicker by actually working. But people like me never work. Even while we’re working, we’re not really working, we’re somewhere else. Right now, thought, I was nervous. I really had a chance to get that loan. Then what? I’d invest it. And then what? What if I lost it? What if I was not as good as I thought? Man, there was still time to leave. That window there… Hmm… No! Frank, ignore the doubts. You gotta believe in yourself. You gotta have balls. If you’re not ready to risk your student’s loan on stocks, what good are you?

It was long. Perhaps they were checking my past. Perhaps they discovered something. Perhaps they guessed I had no fucking plan to buy a fucking car, ESPECIALLY an Audi. Perhaps they had seen stock portfolio I took so many steps to hide. I had taken all precautions to hide it. But still…

I started to picture that 500,000$ loan. I’d try to earn 20% return per year. Shouldn’t be hard with stimulus plan. I’d pay 5.25% interest (it’s EXTREMELY low; a regular loan of that type would be at 12-13%, assuming they DO want to give me this much!). Even if I got only 100,000$, I could buy a shitload of January 2010 calls (calls expiring in Jan 2010, worth 0 after that).

Then, I got a problem. My erection came back. It had started while looking at the first chick’s breasts and went away as I said more and more stupidities. However, the feelings I was living – along with the complete boredom I was in, I usually masturbate when I’m bored to get a “boost” – were enough to get me hard. No! I had to suppress the feelings. I was not going to masturbate in a fucking bank, god damnit.

SUBCONSCIOUS: Do you think she ever fucked on that table? Shut up! Do you think she was on top? Do you think she closed the curtains while doing it? Oh damn, I was in shit. Alright, alright! I had been waiting for 20 minutes, I could pull a quick one, perhaps in five minutes. I had done it once this quick during a lab. I could even do it without dropping my pants, just by opening the zip. Plus there were plenty of papers around.

As soon as I started touching myself, Miss Beluga entered the room. I instantly lost my erection, perhaps forever. Nah, not forever, but even right now, I can hardly masturbate in public without fearing Miss Beluga will catch me and offer to “finish the job”.

The first thing I thought about was that the first chick would one day look like this. The daily stress, the long hours of work and years of dedication would probably make her look like that. The price to pay, I guess. Or perhaps Miss Beluga was just pregnant – with a dozen of kids (at least).
Okay, she wasn’t that fat: just enough to make the floor crack at each of her steps. Come on, why didn’t I get a guy in suit… Sigh!

In order to tell you what happened next, I have to introduce a new character: SUBCONSCIOUS. This is the voice inside me that tells me to do good when I want to do evil and to do evil when I want to do good. The equilibrium force. The reason this voice is important is because while she was ugly and huge, Miss Beluga reminded me of options. Nice, shitty little options I wanted to buy — and profit from. In a single second, while getting my hand out of my pants, I came back to reality, to the professional version of myself, the one I had lost while staring as Ms. Chick’s large boobs. I needed to get that loan. No more Miss Beluga: all that was important was the money and getting as much as I could – and this lady, HER, was going to get me tons of it. Let’s go.

Aw, not that again! And this time, no large breast to look at – well, there WERE boobs, and large ones, but it wasn’t the same. That’s where my subconscious really kicked in.

(awkward pause)

She got out of the bureau, visibly nervous. I’m yelling in the whole place. I’m walking quickly behind her with a one hundred dollars bill in my hand.

She runs to the employees’ room. Other customers are looking at me very strangely. A security guard is also watching me closely. For a moment, it looks like he doesn’t know who to arrest; I wear the suit after all!

She closes the door. I’m alone. No loans. I ruined everything, once again. The agent finally approaches me.

I left. For a moment now, it looked like Desjardins’ logo was laughing at me. And yet the only thing I could think is: