The old Fag

This guy is particularly annoying. No matter what happens, he will never speak. His fantasy is taking a training machine and then never leaving it. He can easily spend one hour with the same machine. The worst about the old fag is that he never seems to actually work. He always lift like five pounds, even if simply breathing on the machine would actually lift that weight.

Once he puts his hand on a machine, he will never give it up. Be ready to wait a long, long time. If you need to do that particular exercice, you might as well give up your training plan as you will never get it. He can spends 15 minutes just sitting there, waiting for absolutely ntothing. It’s up to a point you can think he died of a heart attack right there. Sadly, this is very rarely the case

The weak point of the old fag is that he can only use one machine at once. You can probably do you entire training exercices before he is done with it. He sits there helplessly, always lifting ridiculous weight, completely lost and unaware of anything that happens.

The gay couple

The gay couple spend five hours per day at the gym, looking at other guys and looking closely at your abs which “aren’t fully developped yet” and making all kind of stupid homosexual jokes. You realized they were gay when they heard them talking about going to see “dancers” - and then realized they were the dancers.

They always do the same exercice, in duo, helping each other finish their “set” and then moving on. If by any chance you need to do that particular exercice, you might as well take a subscription to a gay club because you’ll never get more gay men examining  you. Their weak point are women in general, so if you have a female friend, you have the advantage as they have to keep a 3 meters distance from them or something like that.

The 15-years-old mafia

The 15-yeards-old mafia is a huge gang of stupid, spoiled kid who do nothing else that taking 95% of the training machine at the gym and then talking with each other instead of actually using them. If you need to use one of these machine, you might as well change your gym, because they will never, ever give it up. They think they are TOUGH and bad boys going to the gym and TRAINING but they are weak and stupid, and you could probably knock one in a single hit.

They think they are cool hanging in gang, wearing hats and caps even inside and talking shit about everything, but they are really annoying to death. Mafia boys spend their day discussing their latest maths exam. It doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of summer or the day before Christmas: they are always discussing their latest exam and how hard it was. Maths are the weak point of these morons. They suck at it so bad they can’t even count the number of repetition they do per set. They end up walking around randomly, reserving a machine and exchanging it with their friends forever, until the gym closes. Unless you can disguise yourself as a math teacher, good luck if you need to use it.

15-years-old kids have virtually no weakness, except perhaps aging and realizing minimum wages aren’t that great, but you aren’t going to train at that gym long enough for this to happen.

The granny

The granny is the reason why you should be happy to be a man. Ever saw a woman that was way too old? Like World War I old or more? Meet the granny. She’s so old you have the impression she was born before your city was created.

Ms. Granny spends her day doing “fitness exercice” and each time you fear she might break in half, not that you want to look because you might change your sexual orientation. She always takes the most visible spot and annoy about every other guy and woman in the gym, especially the gay couple, who obviously chose the “right side”.

The granny has one advantage: she repulses other women who would rather not see what they will become. For this reasons, all machines in a 5 meters radius around her never have any woman on them. This only leaves the old fag, the gay couple and the 15-yeards-old mafia to monopolize them.

Gecko Man

It was the best name I could find for this guy: he always has a dumb look, his body is way too muscled and his head is tiny.  Gecko Man is “THE” master of training, more muscled and stronger than you will ever be, even if you train every single day of your life. For him, the gym is everything. If gyms ceased to exist, he would disappear through time.

Gecko Man ALWAYS has an advice for you. It doesn’t matter if you are doing simple push-ups, you aren’t doing them correctly, and he has a better way for him. Even if you follow his advices from last week, you still aren’t doing things correctly. Only him is training properly. The ultimate proof is his body, and yours: clearly you are doing something wrong!

A good way to avoid or get rid of Gecko Man is to tell him you are just training for fun. Wha… How could you be training just “for fun”? Does the gym looks like a playground to you? Gyms aren’t for kids, they are for working! This entire conceptmakes no sense to him. From there on, he will take you off his “I can compare my big muscles to his weak body and feel better about my life” list, and he will leave you alone.

Why are these people manifesting? What’s the point? As far as I understand it, it’s about some government who cheated its way to win the elections. So what, it happened with Bush and the Florida state. What’s so special about Iran? It’s not the only country where democracy is repressed.

People talk about democracy like it’s the best thing ever. What’s so great about democracy anyway? Who takes these elections seriously anymore, even here in Canada or in the USA? Everyone knows democracy is a scam. It’s the candidate who is pulling the most strings and who has the most high-placed friends.

Why are these people fighting anyway? For a new election? What a waste of money. It’s not like any government was better than another. They’re all scammers. What proofs do you have the legitimate candidate would be better than the one that cheated his way to the top? Oh, you are fighting for freedom - please. Like you knew what freedom is. At best you are choosing the next corrupted asshole who will decide what your life is for the next years.

If I was in Iran right now, I would manifest pro-government. There is no point in pretending  the elections were faked: they were, and everyone knows it by now. You want a new election? What for, another corrupted idiot?

It’s the nature of this world to elect shitty leaders. Why? Because people get what they are, simple as that. People suck and get shitty leader. You find a good, uncorrupted leader and he will either a)Get killed, if that’s in a poor country b)Get your career ruined by some clown paid to create or even invent a scandal over your life. It’s as simple as that. People don’t deserve good leader and they won’t get them. Fighting is pointless, because the world is what it is and will remain like that.

Which brings me to my last point: no one gives a shit about Iran. Some people start fighting in the streets for “democracy” and suddenly Iran is the next big thing, and the next country of freedom. Has Iraq turned that boring to old medias yet? Iran is a)A shit country b)A place I would never go to, so why would I care about these idiots rioting?

Stop wasting your life rioting for stupid bullshit. There are tons of more valuable reasons to manifest, believe me, and they’re all more important that an inane fight for “freedom,” like any of you knew what freedom is. At best, you are free to choose your next master.

Which leads me to the next point: I hate old people. They always try to waste your time. I had a 70 old teacher giving me a 3-hours mandatory assistance class. It was so boring it was actually the only class I cried in. He just wasted our time with crap no one gives a shit about. I’ve now come to realize I’ve wasted 20 years of my life for others. I’ve done as they asked, I studied, and it was all a big waste.
The entire world is a scam and a waste of time, period. It’s like people wanted you to get as old as possible because youth is sometimes to envy. It took me a while to understand, but old people envy the youth, they do everything to do it because they know their own youth is gone, that they’ve most likely wasted it, and that they’ll never get it back.

And I feel my own youth, my own energy is leaving me, as I waste time doing that stupid bullshit, listening to boring conferences on “1947: the year that changed the pension plans”. Three years of my life wasted in that stupid university. And other people? They don’t seem to care. They have nothing better to do.

4 more months of my life, gone forever, and very little accomplished. Why can’t I just give up everything? I don’t give a shit about actuarial science, I don’t give a shit about life insurance and I couldn’t care less of car damage. Seriously. I have a business to run, books to run and places to visits.

Another month ends tonight and another 30 days of my existence gone forever for that stupid world full of shit and waste of time.

Dude, you need a perfect English? How the fuck do you plan on being a writer when you aren’t even aware that English needs to be capitalized? Your blog blows, your digg profile blows (700 Billions? WTF is 700 billions? You gonna submit the same themed story for the next month of your pathetic life?), and are you a faggot (as you so eloquently put it to another digg member)? Moderate this comment if you wish. I’d be willing to bet your Google stock you wont publish this cocksucker.

Regards,
Nick, a fellow digger and writer with much perfecter english than you.

It’s hilarious people don’t realize how much information they leave, even when they leave a simple comment. Some people might call me totally immature for what I’m about to do but I frankly don’t care. Mr. Nick (or is it already if I call you Dick? It’s so close anyway, and don’t worry I am checking capitalization, dumbass), Mr. Dick left that gracious comment after I published an article on the 700 Billions bailout (I have no clue what his “WTF” is about by the way) under the e-mail feloniousrambler@yahoo.com.

A simple Google query reveals how much of a big loser this guy is. It doesn’t take long to find his shit blog http://www.feloniousramblings.com/ where you can learn in less than 10 seconds that he is single, and male. A good combo, especially important when you need “perfecter english”.

And what is his shit blog about? The same old crap any leftist anarchist loser spends his time on. More conspiracy crap, more anti-police stuff. Mr. Dick couldn’t even make the banner works properly and now HE is giving me lessons?

I tried to read a few of his texts but then I realized just how boring pro-marijuana could be. Stupid biased statistics about marijuana fixing the economy and curing cancer. More quotes from 1 cop out of 1,000,000 saying marijuana should be legalized. And even more texts written like the author was high. There are few things in life more annoying than a pro-marijuana hippie piece of shit except maybe people who read that kind of crap.

Who exactly cares about marijuana getting legalized? I mean, really? You all know it’s never going to be legalized anyway so stop wasting your time. It simply won’t happen. Not because marijuana is evil or because pot is bad but simply because the vast majority of population is opposed to it, no matter what your “75% of people want marijuana legalized” made from a survey of purely 13-19 teenager. You will stop thinking marijuana is KEWL when you grow up, seriously.

I could write a whole anti-marijuana page if I wanted but that’s not the point. Mr. Dick pretends my Digg profile blows. Oh noes, my fictive profile on a fictive website sucks! Who cares? I know people who build an entire life on Facebook and manage to get sex and even make money out of it. I can respect that. I can even respect people promoting stories on Digg, burying the other articles, for money. But I can’t tolerate anyone who really takes this shit seriously and check others’ profiles and rate them like they even represented 1% of what these people really are.  Again, who cares? Anyone can write anything he wants in a profile. 

My Google stock? It’s not because you can only afford one that I do as well. I have close to one hundred Google shares and building. More than $36,000 as of this writing and going strong. More money than you’ll ever get. Get your “perfecter” (how can something be “perfecter”? Either something is perfect, either it isn’t. There aren’t levels of perfection you stupid dumbass, get the fuck out Mr. English) English out of here, go smoke a bowl and keep working at McDonald’s, where every pothead inexorably ends his life, while still promoting that “marijuana is not a gateaway drug” and other bullshit articles no one in the real world gives a shit about.

Why? It’s bullshit, that is why. Supposedly the big punch right now is trying to get a place for the series. Who cares? I couldn’t give a shit less if Habs didn’t make it to the series. What is it going to change in my life? Why should I care about some dumb players doing some dumb shit on ice? How is that going to improve my life?

The biggest challenge in the NHL is to win the Stanley Cup. So what? What does it even proves to “win the Stanley Cup”? Nothing. It doesn’t even prove you are the best of the league, it could be due to luck, i.e. strong teams lost by bad luck. It’s just a goddamn cup and next year it won’t be yours anymore. Oh look at me, I can play hockey, woohoo!

Note: I don’t give a shit about anyone winning the Stanley Cup. No matter what everyone thinks, it’s not a “big achievement”. For them, maybe. For me, why should I care? There are few things in life more annoying than a hockey player. They’re all fucking morons, I’ll tell you. I won’t go over the fact they are over-overpaid but I’ll repeat they’re dumb shit partying all the time and hoping the game ends as soon as possible so they can go back at smoking weed and dealing with the mafia, betting against their own teams.

Hockey players are stupid jerks and I don’t understand any of the attention society gives to these morons. There was an interview the other day on some stupid player I never heard of and how he liked movie X and movie Y. Who cares?  Why don’t they interview some doctors, policemen, even lawyers would be better than some pothead who will spend his life hitting a puck. Oh, how gratifying, what a contribution to the society!

Then come the morons who pretend it’s all entertainement and that these people entertain us. I’ll tell you what: you morons only go to hockey games because you got nothing better to do. You have boring life in office not doing shit and the only thing you do to compensate is go to some hockey game so you can talk about it at job. I’m sure if you had other priorities and responsabilities you wouldn’t waste your time and nearly $300 (with $10 beer, nothing less) on some stupid game.

Hockey is not a bad sport. NHL sucks. A few years ago there was a year-long strike about some players asking some dumb shit which was potentially the best year of my life. It was about some dumb players wasting a few hundreds thousands dollars on some “organisation”  and not wanting to play hockey. EXCUSE ME?? You don’t wanna play hockey? You are on strike? FOR HOCKEY? We are not taking of teachers earning $25,000 per year or police officers getting $500 if they get shot by a bullet (google it up), we are talking of people paid around $100,000 per day of work. STRIKING???

Perhaps the next most stupid thing are agents.  I never understood who was stupid enough to hire some dumb agent. An artist, absolutely comprehensible. An athlete? It’s THAT hard to sign a contract with a team? It’s not like you need a tons of leads to do show all over the world and needs tons of organisation. You only need to sign a contract every few years. Hockey players are dumb.

Another thing that pisses me off badly are hockey commentators. Man do I hate these guys, but eventually I’ll make a whole article on them. Anyway, back to hockey, who cares about whether or not your team won? Yay, habs won! So what? SO FUCKING WHAT? Who cares? Are you going to get a raise because your team scored a goal? I never understood why anyone cared about points. I could understand that a major fan wants them to go to the series to have more games to watch, but winning or losing? Are we still little kids, ROFL my team is better than yours! Players get paid anyway, theymight not get as many bonuses but the difference is marginal. As for you, your team winning or losing won’t do crap.

In a perfect world NHL would die and no one would waste his team “feeling excitement” whenever his team (whatever is “his” team? Does he has shares in them? And also, it’s not “we” win, you are not part of the team, jackass) comes close to score a goal. YAY, a goal. So? So? Is your life empty of strong emotions to this point?

Who’s stupid enough to do that? Seriously?

There is no one around and the guy could easily go away. Why? Why does he leaves his name? What’s the point? You think you will get a medal for your honesty and hard work? Here’s a confession: often, very often, I’ve hit and damaged cars. And often, very often, I’ve had my own car damaged. Do you think anyone left their address? Do you think I left my own? Of course not. I’m not a dumbass.

People suck. There is no way I’m paying for their repairs — even if it’s my fault. Sure, it’s good behavior and good morale, but at the end who will care? You will simply have 500 less dollars in your bank account. That’s it. No one is going to thank you for your honesty. You’ll still get bitched by the other owner and still have to go through the trouble of working everything out. Even if you have insurance, your premium will go up and you will have to deal with the trouble.

Giving out your address won’t reduce the number of people who hit you and run away. Yes, they are committing a crime, but who cares? There isn’t an organization devoted to making the world a fairer place — in fact, the closest thing we have to “fairness” is the police and don’t even get me started on that.

I had the same discussion with a person and he said “knowing you did the right thing” will make you feel better. OH, REALLY? I’m sure my honesty will eventually pay out. I’m sure I’ll sleep better at night knowing I was honest enough to give out my address to some dumbass who probably won’t give a shit about me anytime and probably mocks me every day. I have a new theory:

People suck.

Not a big theory, I know. You can spend all your life doing good and at the end it won’t do anything. That’s what I understood. People will still get raped, killed, stolen, etc. You won’t change anything by doing the “good” thing. And who tells you that you’re doing the “good” thing anyway by leaving your number? Is there an universal set of ethics saying you have to take responsability for your acts, even when others don’t? Where is that paper I signed? If I can go away without trouble, I will, I’m not going to lie like all the fucking hypocrites on this world.

By “people sucking”, I don’t necessarily mean you, or humans in general: more like “The Mass”. The mass always thinks the same way, share the same opinion and have little to no personality. Nothings bore me more than the mass.

People are boring.

90% of the people I meet these days bore me out. Here’s what a typical life of the mass looks like:

1. You are a kid. You hate adults
2. You go to elementary school. That part is cool.
3. You go to high school. You have sex with strangers to do like everyone else. You fail some of your classes and bitch about homework.
4. You go to college. You have a part-time job in a grocery/retail/restaurant.
5. You smoke weed, do more party.
6. You find a stupid job. This is where the financial problems begin. Everyone has financial problems. If you’re not endebted and have to work 20 years to repay your whatever loans, you’re not normal.
7. You work 10 years in a boring stupid job where you do basically nothing but bullshit. You are never totally awake and never totally asleep. You talk behind the back of your colleagues. Life sucks. We tell you that you’ll be able to enjoy life and have “free time” when you’re retired and have no obligations. ROFLMAO. If you’re a woman, you might be actually lucky enough to find a guy who earns enough for both of you. If that’s the case, your life just turned much easier: you just got to open the legs instead of actually working.
8. You age up, you eventually marry a bitch/alcoholic — if you don’t divorce later, you’re not normal. You have stupid kids, you age up, you buy retirement crap and lose it eventually in a crash, you get old and suddenly your “free time” is choosing the time of medications you want to take. You bitch with insurance agents — they treat you like an old idiot. They are only at number 6. You don’t see your kids because you screwed up raising them, working too much for some dumb money you lost/spent on shit. You end up spending your week-ends in some Tim Hortons with other losers discussing what your life insurance is and how much it costs.
9. You are in a health center and a teenager at stage 4 of his life wipe your ass. The highlight of your week is when the nurse sees you and you can later complaint she stole your meds and replaced them with peanuts. The highlight of your day is the juice you take at 2PM.
10. At a point you’re so crazy you’re dead. Your body might still be breathing (artificially), your mind is somewhere else. The last years needs not to be told. The manager of your center runs probability algorithms to sell the right amount of rooms for the next month. Ten residents times 10% chance to die each… let’s sell one room for next month right now. Your kids get called to pick up your stuff — they don’t come because they don’t want anything you own. Except your money, of course. But even your inheritance gets eaten up by greedy lawyers, notaries, court fees, long-time lost friends who hope to get a piece of the pie — and this is the end of you as we know it. Your ex-wife/husband comes to your funeral to look good in front of other people and kids who are still fighting over your inheritance. Yet another idiot died in this world: you.

Know where honest people end up? Same place as bad people. For long, religions tried to make us believe honest and good people would end up in a better place than bad people after they’re dead. And guess who promoted religion? Rich people, of course. The message is: work hard all your life and once you’re dead, you will be in a better place than me for all ETERNITY! Can you imagine eternity? No you can’t! Work hard while I reap the benefits, dumbasses!

Hint: there is no heaven, and God, if he exists, probably doesn’t give a shit about what you do.

When heaven simply didn’t cut it, rich people invented retirement. Work hard all your life and when you retire, if you’re still alive, if you’re in good health, if the stock market has not crashed, you will have a peaceful retirement. F If there’s anything I really can’t tolerate now, it’s government promoting its hidden taxes under “retirement projects”. This, however, is an entirely different article.

Back to the shitty ad: it was from an insurance company promoting a new product I don’t remember which is a good thing because once you start remembering ads, you have too much free time. Basically it said that you’re covered bla bla bla. Here’s another idea: I don’t take any insurance and if I hit a car, I go away, like any human being who saw the true face of this world would do.

Frank

Anyhow, I am afraid that my skills in English, although superbly developed and extremely powerful, cannot make due justice to how bad this job sucked ass. It was so terrible that even the manager used the sickness excuse to skip work. It was stressful, long, hard, difficult, painful (there was about one accident per day such as someone cutting himself making sandwiches (sandwich was still considered good if the blood was not visible on the bread),burning himself with the oven (we had oven gloves, but they had holes), falling on the ground(someone washed the floor everyday, but you never knew when), spilling coffee on his hands(you still had to pay it!) or even choking with the dinner we had to eat in our fifteen minutes break (pass this time, it was cut from your pay)).

As for our salary, it was not only minimal wages, but you had to pay some extras, such as forced (disgusting) dinner, all the items you spilled (and considering the cappuccino machine worked one time out of two, it actually costed you money to simply make an order ), all the items we broke (and things broke by themselves: the rumor was that the oven dated from World War II, it was so fucking old it still worked with coal) or general fees for “meetings”. Yes, we had topay to assist to boring, stupid three hours long meetings. The boss said it was to pay the fucking lunch, which consisted of donuts we were already sick of seeing.  Anyway, I am going to limit myself in my description of my old job since I am sure there are thousands of jobs worst, although I cannot even conceive them. In all cases, I needed the money, and didn’t really have the choice.

Over the fifty persons that were hired one year and a half ago, in 2004, including me, I was amongst the ten that lasted more than three months, thus proving Darwin’s theory on evolution and adaptation to even the worst conditions. Indeed, being an employee for almost a year, and one of the most productive, according to their production charts, I was expecting at least a small raise, like it was normal to do. I mean, after being there for one year, and being one of the best, you expect at least a small raise, no? Or should I content myself of minimum wages the rest of my life? For almost a month, my manager kept ordering and dismissing “productivity meetings”, as they call them, which is a poor excuse to blame you of all the possible mistakes you made, such as serving a coffee in 15 seconds and not 14.7. Anyway. As a matter of fact, I still never had that “meeting”. However, one day, I caught him off-guard in the boss’s room, and managed to talk to him about my raise. He started like this:

–Hmm… You are a very good employee. Never sick. Always on time. Very efficient. Very fast.
–Thank you, sir, I said. I only do my best.
–One year, right? Nice.

Nice indeed ,boss, nice indeed. Assuming X represents the normal time someone can last in such place, E[X]=0.1. You can ask if it’s in terms of years, months, days or hours. I would say all four.

–Alright, you do deserve a raise. Congratulations!
–Thank you ! I said, proudly. And how will it be?
–Let me calculate, hmm…. You are being raised by… five cents per hour.

Five cents per hour. Five, fucking, cents, per hour… WHAT? Is that some kind of sick joke? What the fuck am I supposed to do with five cents per hour, buy myself a car ? Wow. I was expecting maybe, twenty-five cents, or something like this! Five fucking cents, forty cents a day! What the hell am I supposed to do with forty cents? Even minimal wages raise faster than that! Worse yet, at the same time, the moron increased the meal’s cost by fifty cents (per work day), thus making me the only employee in the world actually losing money with a raise. Brilliant.

That’s how I got so pissed at them, for wasting my time and throwing bullshit. Five fucking cents. I still haven’t taken it. Anyway, back to the main story… It all happened on a normal evening of work, not so late. I was working, alone (because all other employee were dipshits anyway), doing my normal job, when one of our regular customers came. By regular, I mean that they literally can’t live without Tim Hortons. Trust me, two years ago, we closed for renovations, and some were so pissed and sad they actually cried. I really wonder what is in those people’s mind, sometimes, something like “Hmmm, the Tim Hortons is closed, I guess I will have to make coffee at home…”. Anyway. The customer that came this night was called Tony. “Tony” is a very well-known customer. Just a hint by the way: for all you morons that don’t give tips, we DO remember you. Trust me, we do. At least, I did. Anyway, Tony is what I would call a ” ’I-got-nothing-better-to-do!” man. Around fifty, bald, driving a crappy and ugly car, but very sympathetic, and always leaving good tips. Tony came every night, for as long I can remember, and at least two years. Every fucking night. He never missed one. There is a rumor that when the Tim Hortons closed for those renovations, he would drive fifty miles to another Tim Hortons so he could still get his fucking order. Incredible.

Each time, he would do the same thing: order a large tea, earl grey. He would then give me a two dollars piece, give me the change in tips (around forty-five cents, so around 33% of the price in tips) and leave. He would wait twenty-four hours, and come back. Forever. Like he was caught in time. However, this night, it would be different.

–One large tea, earl grey, please.

I made it, cashed the money and gave him his order. But just before he left, I told him this:

–Sir… can I talk to you one second?
–Huh… sure…
–You know, this tea you’re buying…
–Yeah ?
–You’re paying 1,55$ for it, you know. And… it’s just a pocket  worth two, maybe three cents.
–Yeah…
–I just add some hot water in it, you know 
–Yeah, why are you telling me this?

He wasn’t understanding and I really shouldn’t have pushed it further. However, if we always did what we should, life would be very boring, wouldn’t it? What’s a minimum wage job in comparison to the polemic I was about to start? I mean, I might be too harsh on the Tim Hortons. It after all had a few advantages, such as being incredibly easy to steal. Oh no, not the money. I remember the boss almost fired someone because a one dollar piece was missing (he accidentally put it in the tips, so he cut one dollar from everyone’s pay). Oh no, not one dollar! The boss then came with the following conclusion: If every employee stole me one dollar each day until the end of the times, I would lose 15,000$ dollars per year. Brilliant, asshole! Just brilliant! Anyway, they had cameras on every strategic point of the road a cashier can take, but surprisingly none near the storage room. I can’t believe the number of “bonuses” I took from them, really. To this date, I still have frozen bagels in my fridge from them. Crazy. I guess they didn’t care, or simply were idiots, or both. Anyway.

–Well you sir, that tea here, one is 1.55$. You can get a box of 12 for 3.99$.
–…
–You could just buy a box on twelve pockets, boil some water at home and… put it in. I mean, instead of coming here every night, drive here, spend gas… it’s the exact same thing.
—…

I wasn’t being mean with him. In fact, I was just trying to help him save. See, two dollars per day, forever, assuming three percents of interest per year (fairly easy to get) represents the present value of a perpetuity of two dollars, which is around 25 000$. Yes, the guy will have literally spent 25 000$ in overpriced tea in his life.

–You could save… I don’t know, ten dollars a week buying in bulk. Or better yet, you could buy it at the grocery. Much, much cheaper and much better, five, maybe ten cents pet pocket …
–YOU… GO FUCK YOURSELF! he yelled.

Oh fuck, he was pissed, so goddamn pissed. He didn’t drink his tea. He just threw it at me and yelled some random insults, quickly sped, and left.

That’s it. The next day, I was fired. I guess Mr.I-got-nothing-better-to-do didn’t appreciate my financial advices, and probably neither did my boss when he saw Tony rushing in the very next morning, yelling at everybody. I guess the boss wasn’t seeing the point of my economics theory, or finally found out who was stealing from the storage room. And since fifty persons were awaiting to take my post… the boss didn’t look any further.

What is funny, thought, is that some friends from Tim Hortons told me Mr.I-got-nothing-better-to-do never came back. Ever. If you are ever reading this article, sir, I want to tell you that I finally understood your logic. It has taken me almost a full year, but I can see right now that you are the kind of person that complains about high taxes, inflation, low wages, cost of life and almost everything that crosses your path, but still wastes his money on some dumb shit such as overpriced tea and stupid ugly cars. As a matter of fact, you probably have the newest video iPod, a portable DvD recorder, a MP3 player that takes pictures and other useless shit no one needs. And yes, I am still pissed at you.

“Your account is Invalid. Please contact support@digg.com”.

I usually use Digg only to read stories and occasionally comment, so I was very surprised by that. I made sure I had not submitted child porn stories (my last submission is weeks ago) and I also made sure I was not running a bot in the background without my knowledge, which could lead to a ban.

Notice the subtle, ingenious wording: Invalid. This doesn’t tell you that you are banned, although if you google around a bit, you will eventually find the answer: you have indeed been banned. Whatever.

I looked all my recent actions to try to find the reason for the ban and here is the article that caused it:

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/tx/6267853.html

From this link on Digg http://digg.com/world_news/Jury_orders_rancher_to_pay_77_804_to_illegal_aliens

My comment was: “He should have shot them, that way they would have been unable to sue. It’s so obvious my comment was irony I almost don’t know where to begin. No, I’m not really hoping texans start shooting illegal immigrants, you dumbasses (first, I’m Canadian, so this doesn’t even apply to me)

My point was: if he’s bitching about getting sued for committing a crime (illegally detaining and threatening human beings), he could as well kill them to save the lawsuit, not that he should kill texans from now on to prevent getting sued. Come on? Can the irony be even less subtle? No, I don’t really wish the mexicans were killed you dumbasses, IT’S A JOKE. The article can be summarized like this:

• A dumb Texan (???) see mexicans on his land and is tired to see them vandalize his property, so he answers a crime with another crime.
• He hold them at gunpoint range, detain them without permission and psychology harass them.
• He is surprised to get sued because Mexicans aren’t supposed to know the law, let alone how to sue.
• He bitches about it.

How about not HUNTING the “illegal immigrants” (notice the subtle wording again and the repetition of the “i”) in the first place? What did you expect, a medal for protecting the borders of America? If you catch an American on your land, even if he is doing damage, are you going to lock him and hold him at gunpoint range? And THEN the guy bitches about getting sued?

For the dumbasses who didn’t get my comments, what it basically means is that if he’s going to do all this, he might as well kill them to avoid getting sued later. For all you with no sense of humor, this does not means I hoped he would shoot them, THIS MEANS THE EXACT OPPOSITE, that he shouldn’t have detained them in the first place as he 1)Isn’t a policeman 2)Doesn’t have the right to detain them.

For those of you unfamiliar with Digg, that kind of comment is rampant on Digg and it’s not rare to see much worse comments on different articles, from the traditional Pedobear on a “Three kids aged 8 abused by the same man” to more complex racist jokes on racial issues. My comment had nothing in particular, but I see it is the one that got me “banned” (Invalided?) because it is deleted.

I live in Canada. I don’t live the illegal immigration thing. STILL, there is no way I would support killing people because they cross your land. What the hell is wrong with you people? Banning me for that? Really? No warning or anything, only because some people misinterpretated what I said? Come on…

Banks increase the interest rate on credit margins by 1%.

GOD NO! Not 1%! Mister dumbass then mentionned banks recently received help from government (canadians banks didn’t and even if it was the case, what does it has to do with anything?) and raised the interest rates anyway.

But the dumbest part is yet to come. A dumb family cried over how their 1,000$ credit margin was now 1% higher which translates to…

…$10 per year.

GOD NO! NOT 10$ PER YEAR!

What a bunch of crybabies. Who cares about 10 fucking dollars! The family then bitched about how poor they were and about how “every penny was counted”. Experience taught be that people who say that usually do the opposite - smoke, drink, eat out often, etc. Just cut one meal at a restaurant per YEAR and nothing will change in your life. As a matter of fact, the family had tons of crap in their large, spacious condo: stupid board games you play once, a huge television and even speakers for better sound quality. How many 10$ did that stuff cost, Ms. Penny? Or did you use your margin to buy this crap you don’t need? Dumbasses.

Another asshole went in saying his $35,000 margin would now be at 13% instead of 12% which leads me to my next point:

If you borrow $35,000 at 12%, you’re a dumbass. Final answer.

Seriously, what the hell? What can you do with $35,000 at 12%? Buy a house? Get a mortgage at 6%. Stocks? Get a margin at 4%. Education? Get a student loan at 3%. Affording your expensive trendy lifestyle of $11 sushis and 8$ frappucino twice a week? Piss off. Don’t make me cry over your stupid lifestyle and don’t expect pity neither when you can’t continue to enjoy a life beyond your means, especially when people like me work so hard in school and at home for very little.

The world has become too expensive and people spend too much. It’s time some of these companies go bankrupt. We just can’t go on and expect every business in North America to live on even they suck. I say let them crash or even better, help let them. Let the strong, talented managers keep on. Stop giving large bonuses to Wall Street suckers even when they get a return lower than the DOW Jones. I went to a bar recently. Since when does a pitcher of beer cost $27? And since when is it allowed for a server - an employee - to bitch at you when you give her $30 because you “it’s just $3 of tip WHICH IS LOWER THAN 15%!!!!!!” I’m almost glad the unemployement rate is going up. Means incompetents and lazy fucks are getting out. This lady doesn’t deserve a job. 3$ to bring a pitcher? Not enough? Wtf!

Recently I went to Subway (a disgusting fast-food selling pre-digested food) and I had a 50% rebate, making the price of one sandwich go from $14 to $7 or from “horribly expensive” to “very expensive”. Pretending I didn’t show the coupon when I ordered and that she already entered my order in her computer (you have to show the coupon before you even order, but that’s bullshit — they can very well enter it later and give you your rebate, she was just lazy), she refused to honor it. And I refused to pay. That’s what I don’t like about people: they can get scammed, they can see the scam right in front of them and they will still pay it because they’re too scared to just… Oh, I don’t know, go away!

Take that time me and my family went to a relatively expensive restaurant in New York. The place was cheap, the food was mediocre at best but the funniest part was when they tried to charge us $14.00 — $2.00 per glass no less — for every glass of tap water we drank. On the top of that, they added a 15% tip to make sure we did tipped them and in an attempt to make us tip twice (sometimes I really wish I had time to write stories about my tip project!). Can you imagine something more scammy than that? Yet 90% of people will pay it. It’s just $14 plus whatever! It’s not worth the trouble! So basically, you are saying fighting to be treated fairly isn’t worth it. You’re an idiot.

To conclude the story, after arguing and after they almost threaten to call the police (we should have been the ones calling them — police in a restaurant is very bad for the place), they finally took the $14 charge off. Supposedly it was written in the menu somewhere, probably in font 8 at page 27 right under a section no one ever reads like alcol ffees (who pays $10 to get brezilian crap? Seriously?). I’m ashamed our family still left a tip after being treated like that.

Back to the shit banks and, most of all, shit people. Guess what? No one forced you to take a $35,000 loan. No one took your hand and signed the contract for you, guns pointed at your head. And no one told you the rate would be flat at 11% neither. I have a credit margin what I use for trading stocks (at 4-5% though). If the rate goes too high, I’ll simply stop doing it and repay my margin. What’s hard to understand with that? What part of that is not clear? You spend your margin to get a shit car, a shit vacations or some other crap - while people like me work hard and spend cautiously - it’s your problem, not mine. Don’t go to the TV and bitch at the $10 per year you’ll have to fork.

The reporter then mentionned that this extra 1% rate on a $20,000 margin could amount to $5,000 over 25 years. Great job, except that you ignore actualisation (the interest you pay later is worth less today), inflation (5,000$ in 25 years is less than 5,000$ today), present value (you have to refund $20,000 in 25 years, which isn’t worth the $20,000 you’re getting today) and all other things financially mathematic, along with assumptions you’ll be dumb enough to keep your margin fully loaded for more than two decades. Don’t go ahead and mention 20,000$ invested today in the stock market, according to past trends, will be worth well over $200,000 in 25 years. Way to put your $5,000 in perspective, although I’ll admit you were skilled enough to come to a nice, round figure.

I hate people more and more everyday. People bitching at a 1% rate increase while still wasting thousands of dollars every year on fuel, car costs and maintenance when they could very well use buses. People getting a $35,000 margin to buy trendy cars, travel and enjoy life while I work 6 days out of 7 to finish university and get almost nothing but $2 lunches. People tipping $8 on a $27 pitcher of beer worth around $2-3. People accepting to be insulted and still paying whatever the place charges them, people who fall in scams - consciously - and still do nothing because they’re too scared about it and better at talking than acting, people who bitch about their jobs and still waste their money everywhere - forcing them to remain at that job forever - and people taking loans they’ll repay 5 or 6 times in their lifetimes with interest. One more news on interest rates and I get a heart attack.

It seems I’m the sole membor of an extinct specy. Am I the only one who wouldn’t date a bi girl? I was discussing with friends yesterday and a couple was there. The guy kept discussing and laughing about how he wished his girlfriend was bi (bisexual for idiots). I consider this a complete lack of respect.

A few weeks ago, I talked to another girl who “would try with another girl, if the girl was right”. She kept saying “Everyone is a little bi inside,” a lame attempt to justify herself. Well no, I’m not bi and no, I wouldn’t date a bisexual girl neither. Why? It’s simply a sexual fantasy, nothing more. You cannot develop with a bi girl the same type of relationship you would develop with a normal girl (yes, I’ve used the word “normal”, piss off)

Everyone acts like having a bi girlfriend is perfect. You get to watch her do nasty stuff to another girl, etc. The problem is: it’s a sexual fantasy, not a reality fantasy. I wouldn’t spend my life with a girl that can’t even decide between men and women. Sure, it could be a one night fantasy, but I simply don’t see myself sharing my girlfriend with anyone — male or female.

I just don’t plain get it. Asking your girl to do it with another girl is like saying she isn’t enough for you when you probably aren’t enough for her yourself. Every guy I talked to who wanted a bi girlfriend said he would never do bi stuff himself. Then why ask it to your girlfriend? And even if she says she does like that kind of stuff, what’s the point? What it is going to be after, three girls? A dog? Don’t make me think about it.

I repeat that I can tolerate bisexual fantasy, but not in a long-term relationship. It simply doesn’t work. You can’t add another person to the equation, whoever it might be, and expect it to work. I have a friend effectively dating a bi girl and he considers himself very lucky. At his age, for sex, I can admit it’s perfect. But if I wanted sex for sex, I’d date a whore (I did). Sure, he loves her and she loves him — but then what is the role of the other woman, if not being a sexual object? 

It seems today there are no real women anymore. I discussed it with someone and said that most females couldn’t have more than three kids in their lives whereas our grandparents got more than ten without problems. Why? Too frail, that’s the problem! Most girls can’t even have one children without totally destroying their bodies. They simply aren’t in shape. Most girls starves themselves to look thinner than their friends (nothing new here), but this creates a new category of women: stupid, obnoxious, underdevelopped women who do bisexual stuff to please stupid assholes. I don’t want a bi girlfriend and I don’t want a simili-woman anymore — a woman who doesn’t want to get too smart as it may scare men.

One girl is enough. Pretending you want a bi girlfriend is fine but I’m pretty sure I couldn’t get it to work. Reminds me of all the 16-years-old who touch their friends’ breasts to get attention. Am I the only one who thinks this is pathetic? Sure, porn-like, it’s ideal, I won’t lie, but this is a total disrespect of their bodies and of themselves.